Love is something we all want and we all need in life. The past two years, my journey of self-discovery has taken a different turn. I was gifted the opportunity to break free from everything and everyone that was familiar. Starting over in a new place is both scary and exciting at the same time. Before I came here, I was semi-independent. “Semi-independent” (is that a word, LOL!), because I still lived at home with Mommy and Daddy. If I had a problem I didn’t want to take care of (or thought I couldn’t take care of), Daddy was there. I also never knew what it felt like to pay my own bills, for I never had to do that before.
Living in the comfort of one’s parents is amazing. Some people abuse it. Even though they are adults and make enough money, they will never spend a dime on anything. This kind of behavior used to bother me in the past, but now… not at all. In life, we have to choose our battles. Worrying about someone else’s behavior, is not one of my battles. One thing is for sure… We, people, often forget that the world is a cycle. What goes around will come right back around… some day.
I’ve been looking at my life, questioning what I look for in friends, and now, what I look for in love.
We sometimes underestimate how important it is to get away. Do you have any idea how GOOD it feels to be here by myself? Of course I miss my parents, relatives, and so on, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. Being here, all alone, has given me the opportunity to reconnect with myself. For many, many, many years, I was LOST. I was so lost, not even the FBI would have found me.
As I am growing older and preparing to enter the next phase of my life, I’m really wondering about what I want. Especially when it comes to love.
I used to be very insecure. Growing up, I always felt misunderstood and alone. As a result of that, I looked for love in the wrong places and in the wrong people. At that time, I had no idea what self-love was. Through building a relationship with myself, I built a relationship with God, as well. It made me realize, being lonely is a state of mind. We are never alone. That’s also when it dawned on me, that at times, I was surrounded by SO MANY people, but I still felt alone. Now, I am really ALL ALONE, and I do’t feel alone at all. A testament of how I’ve evolved.
What I look fot in love… someone who will love me, as I have come to love myself.
That’s all I ask for. Well, that and someone I can be myself with. Completely myself. There are many things I want to do in life, and I know that my future husband will help me along. Together, we shall do many great things for each other and others. The day will come when my husband and I will walk down the isle together. But for now, I’m happy just being in a relationship, learning more about myself and my boyfriend. Marriage is in the cards for me, but it just has to be with the right person. And, at the right time. Now is the time to help one another to become the person we would want to marry.