Taking Things Personally: I Don’t Anymore

We are all guilty of taking things personally from time to time. I know what I am talking about because I took everything personally. If I greeted someone, and they did not greet back, I would obsess over it and that person was then to my Black List. “I mean, what did I do to deserve that kind of treatment? What an uber bitch!” Or, it would be the other way around: “I need to get her to like me because I do not know why she dislikes me enough to treat me like trash.”

Until last year, I even took the way someone I was interested in getting to know treated me. But after a while, I looked behind the behavior: Most of the time, the way someone treats you says more about them than it does about you.

It is not about you, it usually is about their own ideas that they project onto others. Please, never obsess over such trivial issues. Me? It exhausts me to deal with people who take everything personally.

I know, I wrote a post about this last week already. But I just thought to do it again, because I watched a Tedx talk about taking things personally.

So, how did I stop taking things personally?

Obsessing over other people their opinion of me was so draining. It brought absolutely no positivity to my life. It only made me more miserable than before.

Giving someone or something so much energy and control over my life is not the way I want to live. My time here is limited; do you think I want to spend it stressed out? Life has taught me that people will always have an opinion of you. So, I do not care anymore. You do good; they have something to say. When you do the opposite, they will also have something to say. And even when you do nothing… they will still have something to say. *shrug*

I will never be able to control other people their opinion of me.

That also is not something that I want. We have our own free will to do what we want. So I feel people can also practice their free will to think what the fuck they want. Human nature is fickle: One day you are a hit, the next day they cancel you.

I will not base how I see myself or think of certain things on other people their fickle minds. For me, I would rather be myself and be disliked because of that. The most important thing for me is being able to look myself in the mirror and to sleep soundly at night.

When someone says something to me that I do not agree with (it might even irritate me), there are certain questions I ask myself:

A. Will this issue be of importance a month from now?
B. Will this issue drastically change my life or how I see things?
C. What is the added value of me stressing over this thing/person?
D. Again… will I give a fuck about it a month from now?

If I cannot change something to how I think it should be, I will not obsess over it. Nor will I take it personally.

I just do not have the time or energy for shit anymore. Do not even try me, I have zero patience. No, I will not bite your head off, but I will let you know in a polite and decisive way that I am not interested and that is the end of the conversation for me.

So, save your breath and energy & just move the fuck on.

Tiara Ray

I am grateful & blessed to have the life I live. (Soon to be) Traditionally published & self-published author in her mid-thirties. I unsuccessfully tried changing this picture numerous times, so I just left it. I wish you lots of love & may you get what you need. <3

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