Social Media & Why I Quit

Social media was a big part of my life for a very long time. I was on every single social media platform when I was in my teens: Hi5, Hyves, Orkut, and many more. You name it & I probably had a profile there. The teenage version of me was very much into social media. At one point, I used it as my diary. The stupid shit we do when we do not know better. I am so glad I am through that teenage phase. It was not a fun period in my life.

So, my people! I quit social media in September 2019. I think it was somewhere around that time. Did I quit? No, I just deactivated my profile. First, I did it for a month & I did not miss it at all. Then I reactivated it for a day or two. Do you know what I realized? It bored me … tremendously.

I stay in touch with my Chinese friends & classmates through social media apps like Facebook & IG. But I just got really, really bored with them.

I think it all started when I moved to China. Most Western social media apps/platforms are not accessible there, so I could not use them. The next best thing was WeChat. Chinese social media platforms never interested me all that much. Not because they are not entertaining, but more because of the language. It is a great way to improve your language skills, but I just got a headache. I already saw so many Chinese characters in class, I just wanted to read the normal ABC words for a change. So I only used WeChat.

One of the main reasons I decided to ‘quit’ social media is because we make so many connections, but are we connected?

Fun fact about me: When I lived in China, I went out by myself a lot. One thing I loved to do was observing the people around me and how they interact with each other. Or better yet, their lack of interaction.

No one really talked to one another, because everyone’s faces are glued to their phones. Later I realized that they are playing online games together. But still… It baffled me that five to six people seated at together one table and none of them are talking to one another.

So last year, I evaluated my life again & changed how much time I spend on social media.

There are so many people on social media who have five million connections, but they are so fucking lonely. Like you have no idea. ‘Connected’ does not mean that one is building meaningful & long-lasting friendships with people online. And for me, what is all of that worth? Why is it necessary? I created my IG account to document my time in China. When I left, I uploaded a picture or three before I deactivated it. But it was necessary for me to disconnect again.

So, let me tell you why I deactivated my social media accounts almost eight months ago.

Social media is FULL OF SHIT!

Number one: Raise your hand if you are tired of all the half-naked IG models. Instead of spending all that time to find the perfect pose to make your ass look perkier, pick up a fucking book, and educate yourself. If you want to show your goodies online, fine. But at least pick up a book, that is all I am asking.

Yes, it gave a platform to other body types to be models & to be considered beautiful. But there is a thin line between model & THOT.

It is a waste of time; it drains & no productivity.

Reason number two is that I think social media is a waste of time. We live in the most (inter)connected time, so people from all over with all kinds of beliefs are spewing their nonsense online. I am not a follower (and I do not want to lead anyone but myself) & I want to choose what I read and watch.

Being on those apps & platforms so much just drained my energy. I allowed it to occupy a big chunk of my day. Social media steals time, productivity & it produces nothing. No benefits.

We lose touch with our friends because we do not meet face-to-face.

It is great to have those apps/platforms because we can keep in touch with our overseas friends & family. But when you live in the same country and you only talk via apps, it is time to reevaluate the friendship.

Why like a picture of someone bungee jumping when you can go out and do it yourself? And more often than not, some of those ‘globe-trotting/world traveler’ pictures are photoshopped. So do not hate your life. 99.99% of the content online is edited by professionals. Most of the people showing off their marvelous jet setting lives & ‘relationship goals’ … just do not drink the kool-aid. It is mostly just smoke and mirrors.

How about we put our phones down, invite a dear friend or relative for dinner, and connect on a personal level?

Another reason I quit is because of the unwanted messages and friend requests.

My IG account was public because I use it for this blog. That account was to keep my family and friends in Suriname informed about my life in China. I also thought it would be a great memory for me. In case you did not know, I did not like uploading a lot of pictures of myself online. Yes, I do it here, so it is a bit of a contradiction.

But IG is a whole different thing.

Once I tried something new, and I uploaded a few pictures of myself. Within a day, I had messages from some random men on IG telling me they want to be my friend. Motherfucker, did I tell you I was looking for friends?

DO NOT come at me with any offer of friendship online. The answer is FUCK NO! You might have more luck if you approach me in real life. And maybe not, because my circle of friends is very tiny.

In the words of Drake: “No new friends, nigga, we don’t play that. Fuck a fake friend where your real friends at?” Especially no Internet friends, for you could be anybody.

I have no idea if those are the correct words, but that is what I understand, LOL.

Will I use Facebook, Twitter & IG again? To be honest, I cannot say. If you were to ask me if I miss them, the answer is the same as the one you read a few paragraphs ago.

People who know me well know how to reach me. And if we have lost touch, then our chapters in each other’s lives have concluded.

Now for the last reason: I enjoy being unreachable. Did you know that I also turn off my Internet data for days? So if you want to talk to me, you need to call me. Maybe we should go back to basics. It is fun! And one thing I that gets magnified with every year of life, is that I like my life simple. When I can access the Internet 24/7 I get distracted.

Internet and those apps/platforms are full of noise. Most often than not, it is bullshit & eardrums-bleeding-kind-of-noise. I choose what I watch, what I listen to & who I allow to interact with me.

Keeping my life drama-free & positive is my number one priority. If I think of someone as a threat to my tranquility and sanity, it is block-a-doodle-doo to you.

You might not agree with this, but I do not give a shit. I will always choose what is right for me. I suggest you do the same.


Tiara Ray

I am grateful & blessed to have the life I live. (Soon to be) Traditionally published & self-published author in her mid-thirties. I unsuccessfully tried changing this picture numerous times, so I just left it. I wish you lots of love & may you get what you need. <3


  1. I have been trying to grow my following for a while and it isn’t easy. Social media definitely has its pros and cons.

  2. I absolutely loved this read. This is very true. There are a lot of lonely people on the internet looking for real friendships. Some of them even want love. But there really is a lot of noise online, just like you said. Great read.

    • Thank you! 🙂 With all the coronavirus stuff and the different government flexing their muscles, it seems even louder than before. Thank you for stopping by. 🙂

    • Yes. That is why I think Catfishes should get community service or at least be banned from the internet for a period of time.

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