Prioritizing My Needs & Wants

Yours truly has been prioritizing A LOT for the past four months. My finances are my top priority at the moment. I had a business meeting with a friend on Thursday afternoon. She and I worked together over ten years ago. We kind of lost touch when I moved to China, but we have since rekindled our friendship. My old friend helped me to get a great job, I kind of botched the negotiations, but it was a good lesson. That epic negotiation fail opened my eyes to the fact that I really need to start thinking of myself as a business. But I believe everything happens the way it should & the message is well received.

The two of us met at her office, she asked me how I was and how I felt about being back. This question always surprises me, because I was not abroad for such a long time. It was only for four years.

I am prioritizing a lot of stuff concerning my financial status, career & my love life at the moment.

My finances are looking good & I am extremely proud of myself. Financial freedom means something else to everyone, but to me, it means being able to take care of my needs. If you do not know, I do not want a lot. I just want a roof over my head that is clean, clutter-free, stress-free, and my refuge. So far so good.

Image Source – I do not function well in environments such as these.

Since I am not the youngest anymore for some (I am as young as I feel), they tend to ask me questions about my love life… “Are you dating anyone?” “Do you want any children?” Sigh… These questions used to bother me a lot, because not everyone wants children and/or marriage. But I can understand where they are coming from. Most people still think that one has to have a significant other in their life to be happy. And if you are single, you are miserable, that is a fact. In the past, I went out of my way to contradict this, now I just smile and I understand they mean well.

Image Source – I am prioritizing and romance is at the bottom of the list.

So, of course… she asked me if I were single. I wanted to say that I am prioritizing and romance is not at the top of my list, but that would have been TMI.

“No, I am not in a relationship at the moment,” I said. She cocked her head to the side as if to say, “Girl, why you lyin?”

“But you were in a committed relationship, right? I remember that much.” She did not try to hide her curiosity at all. I was a bit uncomfortable with the questions, I changed during my time in China and now have other boundaries. But since I know that this is how she is, I obliged her… this time.

“I was in a relationship for some years, yes, but we broke up.” The look on her face screamed TELL ME MORE! So I did. “I have dated and tried dating, but those situations did not work out.” Sideline… I do not regret anything, but I do wish that I could get back three months (more or less) I wasted on someone who was still SORT OF in a relationship, had a Tinder profile, and thought he could play mind games with me. I was pretty patient and accommodating but in the end… he was not worth it & I am glad I found that out early on.

She means well & I know she just wants me to be happy… So, what is her definition of ‘happy’?

‘Happy’ means having a man by your side to go through life. I did admit that I do miss someone whom I can share certain milestones with, but not that I want someone now. Maybe if it were a year ago I would have said, “Yes, I want to be in a relationship,” but now, I am am sure I am not ready for that… and I do not want it now. How do I know? During the past six months (and at the very moment), I have opportunities for love. Real commitment. Marriage. Children. But I turned down all of those proposals.

Maybe in a years’ time, who knows? But right now, I am focused on my paper.

Right now my life is peaceful. I am dating one person on a regular basis, but we are nowhere near being a couple. He knows what I want and he understands that romance is taking a backseat to my own goals.

I am focused on creating a continuous stream of income, a stable career, and personal & spiritual growth. Life happens when you are making plans, so if the person I am meant to be with crosses my path, things will go how they are meant to.

Until that time, I am happy & content with my life. I still believe in love, I want love and will find it, but I will not put up with shit or compromise my values just to be with someone. PRIORITIZING!!! <3


Tiara Ray

I am grateful & blessed to have the life I live. (Soon to be) Traditionally published & self-published author in her mid-thirties. I unsuccessfully tried changing this picture numerous times, so I just left it. I wish you lots of love & may you get what you need. <3

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