No Rush At All

All good things take time, this much I have learned. Recently had a conversation with a male suitor (yes, I am old fashioned that way) about love and relationships. He said he is interested in dating me, I asked him why. His answer, “You’re the woman I want to come home to.” WOW! THAT was a lot to swallow… and weirded me out. I will forever be weary of men who don’t know the first thing about me, but claim I am the woman they want to be with. Ladies & Gents, news flash: I am in no rush to get into a relationship, NONE at all.

Do I get lonely? Yes, I do. Am I not looking for a relationship? I am, but it has to be the right time & the right person. Again, no rush at all.

I have learned to trust the timing of my life. Everything will fall into place when it should and not a moment sooner. Have wanted to come to China since the age of 19, tried numerous times during a period of 10 years. At the age of 30, I decided a month before the deadline that I wanted to try again. Guess what? I left for China a month later.

It is never a good idea to be in a rush when starting the dating process. When I look at today’s dating world, I am not surprised that there are many lonely men out there having a lot of trouble finding the right woman for them. Online dating apps have made dating easier (and cheaper), so why bother putting your best foot forward? The more I get to know people, the disappointments just seem to multiply.

That is why I try not to have expectations. Does not always work, though.

I am single, not dating (at the moment), but that does not mean I am not window shopping. Seen many things I like, some are not worth my money, others are just pretty and will bore me after I have purchased them, and then there are others who do not live up to what they advertise. So, I am still deciding what I want to buy. So far there is this one outfit I really do like. Quality is better than expected and it is really comfortable and reliable. Two things that I love and need when shopping for clothes, lol *wink wink.* Recently returned an outfit I had made a down payment on, I thought, “Yeah, this is the outfit I want. I will pay in installments.” And then it turned out it was not such a good fit. So I took my money back. Made me look at this comfortable new shirt in a different light. Sometimes you do not know what you have until you spend your money on something useless.

I also wonder… were some of the “suitors” really interested in me or the idea they had created of me?

Whatever their intentions were, their actions did not match their words. It is good to know from the start who is worth your time. If someone is not treating you the way you wish to be treated (even if you have mentioned it twice), then it is probably time to take Elsa her advice and LET IT GOOOOO! LET IT GOOOO! The older I get, the less patience I have for bullshit. If you want to date me, check your bullshit and inconsistent behavior at the door… or else you will deleted and blocked so fast it will give you whiplash.

no rush
No rush at all. Now that I’m reading the lyrics… is this really a song for kids?

Oh, I do not care if deleting and blocking someone means I am childish, you are free to think of me how you wish. Whatever makes sense to you and makes you sleep better at night. It is my life, I do what is best for MOI and I don not need anyone’s permission or approval.

Communication is important.

I am not a Professional Guesser, nor do I want to be. If I am starting a relationship with someone (any kind of relationship), communication is key. What do you want? What don’t you want? Where do want the relationship to go? And many other important questions. Simple understandings between two people (or more, I don’t judge ;-)) If someone cannot or suddenly stops communicating with me, I cannot fill in the blanks for that person… and it’s never a good idea for me to do that. I need clarity.

Stay positive and open but let it be with someone deserving. <3

Tiara Ray

I am grateful & blessed to have the life I live. (Soon to be) Traditionally published & self-published author in her mid-thirties. I unsuccessfully tried changing this picture numerous times, so I just left it. I wish you lots of love & may you get what you need. <3

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