No Reflection by Marilyn Manson [SOTW]

No Reflection by Marilyn Manson has made the list of my favorite songs. I know this will come as a surprise to many people, but I love some of his songs. Like I said before, not everyone likes my taste in music. Okay, I know there are many people who dislike him AT ALL. For starters, he is a man named Marilyn. That is a big What The FUCK right there for many people. Second, the last part of his stage name is the last name of a sociopath & criminal named Charles Manson. So, his name is a combination and juxtaposition of two cultural American icons, none other than Marilyn Monroe and Charles Manson.

Marilyn Manson is not his real name, FYI. His legal name is Brian Wagner. He became popular in my early teens. I never really listened to him in my teens, I thought he was a bit too satanic for me. Besides, the Columbine shooting happened and people said that his songs influenced the kids who shot up the school. Now I know that is not true, but it made many more people dislike him.

no reflection
Image Source: World Cafe 2015

How did I come across No Reflection? It is very simple: YouTube.

The picture is courtesy of a very talented photographer named Jiro Schneider. Click here to check out his work.

To get back to how I came across No Reflection: I think it was six to seven months ago. It was during the day, for I remember that I was combing my hair. When doing that, I like to play songs in the background. Suddenly, I had this urge to listen to his version of Tainted Love. As far as I am concerned, Marilyn his version is the only one that counts.

After listening to Tainted Love, an interview of his started playing. I was busy with my hair, so I did not bother changing it to something I actually wanted to listen to. But he said something that made me see him differently. It made me curious about him.

I wouldn’t say I’m misunderstood, I’m just understood differently by everyone, and that’s fine. And if you have no haters, then you’re doing something wrong. I like to make people think and get reactions out of them.

– Marilyn Manson interview

I cannot remember with whom he did the interview, but I saw him differently afterward.

“So there is more to him than this fucking bullshit he is showing us. Maybe he is not such a satanic fucktard after all,” I thought. For me, I like to know why people do the things they do, why they present themselves in a certain way.

After binge-watching any and every Marilyn interview I could find, I understood why he is the way he is. He definitely knows himself. Marilyn knows every crevice, every dark & light corner of himself. That is fucking awesome if you ask me. And the best thing about it all is that he accepts himself and is comfortable with who he is. Hats off to you, Marilyn.

No Reflection YouTube Video

The lyrics are dark, but a reflection of some people their reality.

I don’t know which me that I love, I got no reflection.

No Reflection – Marilyn Manson

This brought back memories. Remember, I said I took a lot of time getting to know myself. It takes me back to that time. I love all sides of me. Yes, even the side that loves Marilyn his work. Back then I also had no reflection: I did not know which version of myself I had to be. Different people have different expectations. But then I realized it only matters what I think & want. Now I have a reflection, but it is good to remind myself that I was confused at a time in life.

Show myself how to make a noose, a gun’s cliche and a razor too. I’m not a death share vacation, vacant station. Made of scars and filled with my own wounds.

No Reflection – Marilyn Manson

This hits home for me, for I was suicidal throughout my teens into my mid-twenties.

Do not worry, I am not suicidal anymore, and I am not ashamed of it. I know why I had those feelings, and I dealt with them. There are people who are still going through this and I hope they know there is help, people who love and care for them. They are not alone.

I was not a cutter, never thought of making a noose or reaching for a gun. Pill popper, that is what I was. Because of this, I have built up a tolerance to certain medications. Even after all the pills I swallowed, I am still here. It means that my life has a purpose. Maybe it is to tell you, reading this right now, that self-harm is not the answer. You are worthy of love, people love & care for you, and there are people who want to help.

This song is dark, but he is stating facts. I survived, Marilyn has been through more shit than I have and he is still here. You are not alone.

Tiara Ray

I am grateful & blessed to have the life I live. (Soon to be) Traditionally published & self-published author in her mid-thirties. I unsuccessfully tried changing this picture numerous times, so I just left it. I wish you lots of love & may you get what you need. <3

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