El Diablo 1: The Book I Want To Unread

El Diablo 1 is the first book of the whole Alejandro Martinez saga. I wrote about the second book last week. That one is about his son, Crucifixio Martinez, and his marriage to another mafia boss’ daughter. If you read that post, you’ll know I didn’t much care for that book. For me, it had all the ingredients of a great story, but something went wrong in the kitchen. Oh, in case you’re wondering why I started writing book reviews, it’s because I entered the GoodReads 2020 Reading Challenge.

El Diablo 1 book cover

I don’t know where the author found this model if it’s from a stock photo, or whatever. But I would love to be burned by this Diablo. El Diablo 1 cover model is HOTTTT!

Yes, I am objectifying him, fucking sue me. She put him on the cover for a reason, and it wasn’t for his expensive watch. Just his face alone had me clicking on the book to read the blurb. I give her half a star for choosing this delicious man.

I have my fair share of experience with the bad boys, it’s no secret I think bad boys are hot. In case you didn’t know, I’m IN LOVE with crazy fucking Tommy Egan from Power. I just love a bad boy. But the thing with these hot and unpredictable bad boys is that they will raise your fucking blood pressure. You might end up leaving the relationship with an ulcer.

Most of them are not relationship material, for (some) reasons demonstrated in the book. Men like him are the kind of men you fantasize about when you’re fucking your boyfriend (if he sucks in bed, but you love him too much to say anything), they’re not the type you marry. They’re the type you fuck to get a little action in your life.

I’m not recommending anyone do this, unless you want to. To each its own. But don’t enter relationships with men like the ones in this book expecting the white picket fence, the dog, a goldfish, and two and a half kids. Relationships like these only work out in books… it’s called FICTION for a reason. Trust me, I know what the fuck I’m talking about.

So, now to the reasons why I want to unread this book.

I was ruthless, feared, and I had sacrificed. Myself. Her. Everything… 

Living in a world where I was worth more dead than alive was a choice. I was a bad man, never claimed to be anything else. I’ve done things I’m not proud of. Seen things that can’t be unseen. I’ve caused pain that I can’t undo. 
It was all my choice. 
Every decision. 
Every order. 
Right and wrong never mattered. 
Until her. 
She was under my protection until she became my obsession. 
But who was going to save her… 

From. Me. The devil himself. 

Fate brought us together. Destiny destroyed us. 

Now, I don’t know about you, but it sounds HOT! Especially with a man who looks like our cover model. I was like, ‘Alrighty then! I’m gonna read some steamy sex scenes with some handcuffs, whips, and feathers! LEGGO!’ I’m not saying I’m into it, but I’m also not saying that I’m not into it.

But when I started reading the book… I just didn’t care about the sex scenes anymore. No matter how hot a man is, being an Alpha Douche-hole makes him totally unfuckable. Don’t get me wrong, I like a cocky man who can make me laugh, but this man is a pure fuckwad-douchebag-Alpha-asshole. He’s fucking unredeemable.

One of the best lines in the book? Amari, the protag’s sister told him that he’s pussyfooting around something, he then interrupts her and says, ‘The only thing I do with pussy is fuck it.’

After reading this line, I just had to get up to get a glass of water and ask myself, “What the fuck did I just read? I can’t unread that.”

I can’t state this enough, but I don’t know why some female authors think writing an Alpha male means they have to write a super-Alpha-mega-mega-phi-beta-kappa-colossal-unredeemable-fuckwad-ASSHOLE!

Okay, I think I have to get to the actual review now. Darn it. I wanted to shit on Lord Fuckwad some more.

The book was waaaayyyyy tooooooo looooongggg. Some chapters were absolutely pointless. I hope she invests in a developmental editor next time.

I didn’t really care for Sophia. She didn’t have a personality… all she did was learn to cook his meals and how to fold his fucking clothes. As if she has no other fucking aspirations than to be a fucking wife without her own identity. Nothing wrong with being a wife, but have your own ambitions and shit you like to do just for you.

It’s obvious to me that the author is a Fifty Shades of Shit lover. ‘I fuck long and hard.’ … CRINGE! And these words are coming from a then 16 y.o. Alejandro. The fact he fucks prostitutes does make his skills a bit believable… but still… CRINGE!!!

If a man ever says those words to me, I’d say, “Yeah, that’s my queue to go.”

I don’t know what to think of this book. It was just toooooo much fucking drama for me. I can’t with dysfunctional relationships. I did, for a second, think that Lexi was his daughter. But it’s even more disturbing that he fell in love and slept with his niece her half-sister…

This book was hitting The Cement Garden territory here.

Congrats to the author for finishing the book… but… I didn’t love it. I finished it, yes. The story was interesting enough to keep me turning the pages. But… sigh… it didn’t quite do it for me. I would recommend it to people who like to read anything, it doesn’t matter if the story makes sense or not.

I do encourage the author to keep writing, she has potential. She just needs someone who makes sure her romances don’t get into Stephen-King-length-territory. This book is like The Tommyknockers of mafia romances.

And, OF COURSE! There was a big dick moment…

Lord Fuckwad was about to take his girlfriend’s virginity (BARF!), and she panicked when she saw the size of his penis. ‘Alejandro, that will never fit.’

OH, fucking kill me now!

So, I give this book two stars. Half a star for the hot cover model, and one and a half stars for the potential of the story, and for finishing a FIVE-HUNDRED-PAGE book!

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Tiara Ray

I am grateful & blessed to have the life I live. (Soon to be) Traditionally published & self-published author in her mid-thirties. I unsuccessfully tried changing this picture numerous times, so I just left it. I wish you lots of love & may you get what you need. <3

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