World War III officially started on Staurday, September 23, 2017 around 22:00 in a dorm room in Xiamen, Fujian Province, The People’s Republic of China. We didn’t come to blows, but I was close to choking the life out of that B&*^$! If you are unware of the relationship between my new (ex)roommate and I, you can read about it here.
What had happened was, ever since I told her not to use my stuff, she’s been slamming doors while I’m sleeping, doing the most. Leaving dirty dishes in the sink for days, which I hate. I also noticed she stopped talking to me. It didn’t bother me, for she was getting on my nerves, anyway. Everything I did, I did as quiet as possible. I made sure not to bother/disturb her in any way.
What led to the start of World War III was a video call.
On Saturday afternoon, while in a video call with my boyfriend, I suddenly heard, “Excuse me, you’re too loud.” OOOOHHH-KAAAAY. Here’s how our conversation went.
Me: (still in the middle of a video call, phone on my hand) “Oh, I’m sorry about that. I’m trying to be as quiet as I can.”
Her: “Maybe you can use your headphones.”
Me: (still in the middle of video call, boyfriend listening as well) Maybe you can use your headphones, listen to some music.”
Her: “Maybe you can go outside, then.”
Me: (still in the middle of my call) “YOU go outside.”
My boyfriend and I resumed our conversation for maybe two minutes, when she spoke again:
Her: “Really, maybe you can go outside. Or maybe call your family when I’m not here.”
Me: (phone still in hand, mid call) “Can you be quiet? I’m on the phone!”
I told my boyfriend that I was so close to showing her my freaking HAGGOE, like we say in my country. Mijn zwijn was niet ver!!! On purpose, I spoke to my boyfriend for another twenty minutes. After I’d ended the call, she came to my side of the room. SIGH! I meditated in silence: “Nam Hyo-Ho RenGe Kyo, Nam Hyo-Ho RenGe Kyo, Nam Hyo-Ho RenGe Kyo! If you don’t control yourself, World War III might start.”
Her: “So, maybe we can create a schedule for when you call home.”
Me: “I can’t agree to that. There is a time difference of eleven hours between China and my country. My family isn’t available at the same every day. Their schedules are subject to change.”
Her: “Then maybe you can go outside to make your call.”
Me: (in silence: nam hyo-ho renge kyo, nam hyo-ho renge kyo)
Her: “Two people have to live in this room, we need to work out how we will co-exist.”
Me: “Please stop talking. Don’t talk to me right now.”
Her: “Why? I just want to have a normal conversation about a schedule.”
Me: “I said… STOP.TALKING! I.DONT.WANT.TO.TALK! I.DONT.WANT.TO.HEAR.YOU.SPEAK!”
I left to teach a Spanish class. When I came back two hours later, she’d left a note on my desk. Something about quiet and respect and bla bla bla. I walked over to her side of the room, put the note on her desk.
Me: “Nice note, really. But no, I will not go outside when I make video calls.”
Her: “You still don’t agree? Why not?”
Me: “Because I don’t agree! I don’ bother you, not noisy, don’t touch your stuff without asking you. I will NOT go outside.”
Her: “But this room is for two people.”
Me: “Yeah, so just like you said in your note, when I’m making my video calls, you can go out and I’ll let you know when you can come back in. That works for me.”
Her: “How long will I have to be outside for?”
Me: “No idea. Until I finish my call.”
Her: “Then how long will that be? It’s my room, too. Do I have to stay outside for hours?”
Me: “YOU suggested it, now you have a problem with it?”
Long story short, she didnt’ agree that she had to ask for my permission if she wanted to use my stuff. The way she saw it, we were sharing the room… which meant that everything in it was fair game. I was the selfish and controlling one and thought the room was mine. It was her room, too. Well, I knew my HAGGOE and World War III were just around the corner.
It was exactly 21:59, I was ANGRY and TIRED. I told her to shut up, I wanted to go to bed and relax. Well, she kept talking, talking, talking, talking. 22:00! BAM! World War III started!
Me: “Please stop talking!”
Her: “I can talk, you’re not the boss of me!”
Me: “YEAH! SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU CRAZY BITCH! FUCK YOU! YU MA PANGPANG!
Her: “What? What? I don’t understand!”
Me: “You don’t understand? Do you understand FUCK YOU, YOU MOTHERFUCKING-CHEAPSKATE-PENNY-PINCHING-BITCH?”
Her: “I’m going to record you, let the teachers hear how you abuse me!”
Me: “Yeah, record me all you want, bitch! Here’s some more for you: FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU AND THAT FUCKING CRAZY BROOM YOU FLEW IN ON! FLY BACK TO THE CUCKOO’S NEST!
Her: “I don’t understand. And I am going to record you!”
Me: “You don’t understand? But you understand FUCK YOU, right, you bitch? YU MA PANGPANG!”
Her: (her phone in my direction) “I’m recording you! Say what you said! Say it!”
Me: “Go nuts with that recorder! YU MA PANGPANG, YU WIESWAS MOTJO DAGGOE BEESTE, YU!”
Her: “I don’t understand, say what you said.”
Me: “Yeah, YU MA PANGPANG!”
She turned her phone around, spoke into the camera. “See, teacher, I can’t talk to her. She is so arrogant and selfish!” Can you believe she even had the nerve to follow me around with her phone, recording and filming me??? “What did you say? Say it again? SAY IT!”
Me: “You know what? Don’t use my plates and stuff anymore. Buy your own! Oh wait, you won’t, you’re too cheap!”
Her: “What’s yours? Tell me what’s yours and I won’t use it anymore!”
Me: “Everything that you didn’t buy is mine, bitch, it’s mine!”
Her: “Well, if I can’t use your stuff, take your WiFi modem off my desk.”
Me: “This isn’t yours, it belongs to the both of us. I can leave it there if I want. The modem stays.”
I went outside to throw out the trash, when I came in, the modem was gone.
Me: “Where’s the modem?”
Her: “It’s behind the desk.”
Me: “Bitch! This stays here! If you break it, you’re paying for it! Move it again, I’ll give you something to record!”
Her: “You are so selfish and childish!”
Me: “Just like you, you crazy bitch! Oh and when you move out of here, you can play the recordings when you go to sleep at night. A reminder of me!”
Her: “You will be moving out.”
Me: “I really don’t give a shit who moves out, as long as I don’t see you, my day is set, bitch!”
SIGH! We ended up in one of the teacher’s her office at 23:00. A few of her countrymen came, because they are responsible for one another. Seems that they’ve also been having problems with her, they don’t like her AT ALL! One of the guys dislikes her so much, he almost kicked the living daylights out of her! They’ve been having problems for quite a while. It seems that the head teacher also dislikes her. They told her that if she feels that everyone is against her, maybe she shold go back home. I have no idea what happened to her, but she really thinks everyone hates her. She’s projecting her crazy ideas onto people.
I have been alone in the room since Sunday night. Sigh of relief! That’s how World War III ended and started, all in the space of four hours. I do regret how I cussed her out. Our exchange could have been a bit more civilized. But I was so mad and tired of her slamming doors and all the irriating stuff she’d been doing. It was bound to happen.