Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) refers to physical and emotional symptoms that occur in the one to two weeks before a woman’s period. Symptoms often vary between women and resolve around the start of bleeding. Common symptoms include acne, tender breasts, bloating, feeling tired, irritability, and mood changes. Often symptoms are present for around six days. – Source: Wikipedia
PMS is very real, people. Mine is different every single month. Some months I smell like wet dog, then I have to change deodorant. I always buy two types of deodorant, just in case. Other months, I am so depressed. I feel so down, and I wonder why I am so blue. Sometimes, the slightest things piss me off! I can just chew someone’s head off! Just hearing someone talk, breathe too much, what-have-you, it ticks me off!
Am I unhappy?
Am I angry at my boyfriend?
Did one of my friends piss me off?
The answers to all of those questions is always a big fat NO! Then, there are other times that the slightest thing will just bring me to tears. Don’t have to tell you ladies this, but sometimes I get so horny, I want to dry hump everything and anything that looks like a penis. Am curious about the relationship between PMS and “horniness.” I tell ya, sometimes it’s not easy being a woman! The enlarged breasts, those I like! I wish they’d always be like that!
I’m no stranger to PMS binge eating.
I always crave sweets when it’s that time of the month. A week or two before the bitch flies in on her broom, I want meat, chocolate, lots and lots of chocolate! Makes me think back to the many, many times I stopped in front of a supermarket, bought many packs of M&Ms, Cadbury chocolate, Oreos, and a small bottle of Coca Cola. I’d open it up in the car, eat and drink it all at once! I’m not kidding. PMS binge eating is real!
Every single month, I feel like Sarah Connor. Why? I don’t care how this will make me sound, but I think of my period as The Terminator. No matter where Sarah Connor hides, that dang-gone-it machine always finds her. The bitch finds every month, and she’s going to keep finding me until I hit menopause. I think have a good twenty years left before that happens. HOORAY! *sarcasm*
This month’s PMS binge eating was good!
She flew in on her broom on Saturday, when I had to work. I hate working on the first day of my period, because I’m really crabby, and sometimes suffer from backaches. But, I couldn’t call in sick, so I had to go. It was quite entertaining, so I’m glad I went. After work, I took the bus back to my neighborhood, then switched buses, and went to the mall. The bus wasn’t crowded, I love that! Paid a visit to one of my favorite bakeries, 85 Degrees.
I bought some cake, then went upstairs to buy some Hershey’s chocolate. I love them! While waiting for the bus, I couldn’t wait until I got home, I opened the Hershey’s. Stuffing my face with three at a time, I suddenly noticed this girl that was standing in front of me, was looking at me. Embarrassed, I smiled, and offered her some chocolate. To my amazement, she accepted. I was pleasantly surprised, because Chinese people usually aren’t so “open.” Guess what? because I gave her chocolate, she gave me a cupcake!
When I got home, I craved meat, so I ate the rest of my chicken. I have no idea why I crave meat this time of the month. Maybe I should ask Google. Well, since I’m in China, it’s either BaiDu (百度) or Bing (必应). Aftwerwards, I stuffed my face with my cupcake and some cake!
The cake was good. Well, now that I’ve been here a year, I’ve gotten used to how cake tastes here. Chocolate cake tastes like diet chocolate, if there is such a thing. Another thing I should ask Google. But, when PMS binge eating, any chocolate is better than no chocolate.