“Journal LOVER.” That’s one way I would describe myself. But for some reason, I haven’t been able to write for a while. It happened when I arrived home a few months ago. So many things had happened to me. From me almost missing my flight, a FREE upgrade to Business Class, spending the night in a hotel at Schiphol International Airport, to my flight back home with Surinam Airways… there was so much I had to write about. But for some reason, I couldn’t seem to get myself to do so.

Due to some personal issues, I hadn’t planned on going home in July. In the end, I don’t regret my decision of going. It was great to see my parents, my niece, and my significant other. He and I fight like crazy when we’re apart, I’ve even plotted his murder once or twice. We have our ups and downs, but I know the love is real. The good times are REALLY GOOD, and the bad times… well… DISASTER! But I guess it’s all about growth. At least now I understand him and his reactions better. Understanding is important.

Not seeing my parents for such a long period of time, also takes an emotional toll on me. It didn’t bother me as much my first year here, for everything was new and exciting! But now when I talk to Mom and Dad, I see new wrinkles, new grey hairs that weren’t there before. I realize it’s a real blessing and privilege to see my parent’s growing old. Not everyone is that blessed in life, I know that much.

Journal and a good cup of tea.

I had an amazing time back home. It was great to see my family and friends (the few I have, LOL), catch up a little. A few things happened that made me look at certain people differently. But I’ve decided that it’s not my place to judge anyone, even if their actions seem weird to me. I’m not perfect either. It’s not my life, it’s their cross to bear.

My trip back home also got me thinking about something: “Can men and women REALLY be JUST FRIENDS?”

I think I will write a lot about this in my journal, for I need to work out a few things.

I never understood why my boyfriend had a problem with my male friends. To me, it was perfectly possible for a man a woman to be friends, without there being any weirdness. Well, I should have learned my lesson when someone I thought was a good friend, tried to sleep with me. Yes, it happened! I was friends with his girlfriend, and everything! But the f*^#$r still tried it! Should have learned my lesson there!

Of course not ALL men are like that! But the ones you don’t expect it from, that’s what you need to look out for. Have no idea if it is sexual frustration, or if the person doesn’t respect himself, the friendship, you… just an asshole, I guess. And no, I don’t want to talk it out or talk about it.